Monday, 15 August 2011

Superheroes at war, plus the least popular characters ever!

While researching for a column I write for publisher Rogue Blades Entertainment : http://www.roguebladesentertainment.com/2011/05/heroes-and-antiheroes/
I came across some interesting articles about heroes used as propaganda during World War 2, and some information about a comic creator who invented some of the least popular characters of all time. What I found I now share with you, because I'm so generous I make myself want to puke sometimes:

Comic characters are no stranger to controversy, as we will now see.
During World War 2 (worst sequel ever?), many comic book and animated characters were used in propaganda to help the war effort. Superman did his bit.
SUPERBULLY

As did Batman.
LOOK AT BATMAN'S FACE, HE LOVES BLOWING PEOPLE UP.
And, of course Captain America.
THANKS FOR PUNCHING HITLER IN THE FACE, BUT DO YOU HAVE TO DRESS LIKE A TOTAL DILDO?

In many animations the portrayal of German and Japanese people would now days be considered racist, but these were different times and people didn't care much about such things. In 1944 Bugs Bunny appeared in a cartoon called Bugs Bunny Nips The Nips. There is no way you would be allowed to get away with this cartoon in modern times.
IN THE NEXT SCENE BUGS GRABS THAT SWORD AND CUTS HIS ENEMY'S BALLS OFF.

Popeye, being a sailor, was of course involved in naval battles. He destroyed submarines and battleships ruthlessly.
grottu:

(via fuckyeahww2propaganda)
POPEYE SINGLEHANDEDLY EXECUTED OVER TWO HUNDRED PRISONERS OF WAR

Daffy Duck, Donald Duck, The Justice League and many other comic stars all did their bit it seems.
REALLY? WHO THE FUCK IS THE GREEN LAMA?
After the war ended comics became rather bland for quite a while. It seemed that peacetime meant there was nobody to fight. Sales of superhero comics slumped until the seventies, because the characters had become bland.  Then along came a man called Gustav Wendorf; he looked back at the old World War 2 comics and reprinted a lot of them. Due to the racist depictions there was much controversy and many complaints; however they still sold well. Because of this Gustav decided in the early eighties that what the comic industry needed was controversy, or someone to push back the boundaries. He wanted characters that had an edge, that were different, so he started creating his own. They rapidly became wildly unpopular.
The first was a super heroine called The Carrier.
At night she was a Parisian whore called Cerise, by day she fought crime as The Carrier. At one time she had been a normal prostitute, but one day a client ran off without paying and rather than report him for theft she decided to get revenge. She paid a voodoo priestess to help her and found herself with the ability to infect her enemies with sexually transmitted diseases just by looking at them. Most opponents feared her, because she could give them AIDS, but that can take a long time to have an effect. She found it more useful in combat to infect her opponents with a severe case of crabs.
Next came The Philosopher. A masked avenger who would engage his enemies in a philosophical debate, until he made them doubt their own existence to the point where their vital signs would pack up and they would enter a permanent vegetative state. His crime fighting  career was cut short as he was killed in combat when faced with the villainous Doctor Deafness.


One of Gustav’s favourite creations was a character called The Abortion. His origin was a variation on Frankenstein.  Dr Herb Langler began as a brilliant scientist who had specialised in Teleology (the study of final causes, both intrinsic and extrinsic), but was killed in a fatal car accident. Despite his genius he was misguided enough to be an organ donor and so the heartless vultures at the hospital wasted no time in harvesting his helpless corpse for spare parts. Sadly, his damaged brain was of no use and was sent to be incinerated with any other medical waste. The only other medical waste at the time being a huge batch of aborted foetuses; the container holding these and the brain of Dr Langler was wheeled across the car park during a freak storm. As is often the case in comics lightning struck with unexpected results. The aborted foetuses fused with the brain of Dr Langler, and he was brought back to life. He managed to arrange himself into humanoid shape (albeit made out of foetal matter), and found that with his knowledge of Teleology he could harness the abilities, strength and knowledge of all the aborted children his body was now composed of, if they had lived and fulfilled their destinies. For example, if one of the children would have grown up to be pilot, Dr Langler could pilot a plane, if one of the foetuses’ interrupted destinies would have been a career as a surgeon, Langler now knew all those procedures. Whatever the foetuses would have known as adults if they’d lived, Langler now possessed. Also, as there were over fifty foetuses merged together, he now had the strength of over fifty grown men and women.
He decided to call himself The Abortion and fight crime, but was often feared and reviled by people due to his hideous appearance, much like the Fantastic Four’s The Thing.
The Abortion's archenemy was the dreaded Professor Pro-Life.


Then came Gustav’s least popular character. Anton Hassel , brought up in an orphanage in a small German town, thought he was a normal schoolboy, but he was wrong. He considered his classmates to be beneath him, and instead of joining in their games he would sit by himself and play chess and Risk, which he excelled at. He found he had a brilliant knack for tactics and strategy. Then one fateful day, he was visited by a mysterious stranger who revealed to Anton his true heritage. Anton was a clone of Hitler! In fact, he was cloned from Hitler’s missing testicle! Mortified and ashamed of his origin, Anton wanted to make up for the crimes of his “father”, and so vowed to use his cunning to fight crime. However, he didn’t want to be a hero, instead he wanted to be hated as Hitler deserved to be hated so his crime fighting costume was a Nazi uniform and moustache. He became...



Shortly after publication of Kid Swastika’s adventures, an investigation proved that creator Gustav Wendorf had been an officer of the SS during World War 2. He was promptly put on trial for war crimes and then executed in Greece.

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